kids & food
Do you have a picky eater in your house? We have three kids in our house ages 10, 8 and 6. They are great eaters at times and downright frustrating at other times. They definitely know what they like; cookies, chocolate, popsicles! Often, we get can I have a brownie for breakfast? Hmmm…. how would you answer that?
Over the years our approaches around food has evolved. Both my husband and I were raised with what was put in front of you, you ate. We tried that approach. What we offered was never unreasonable; usually a starch, a protein and a vegetable. Never huge portions. We would try to set up for success. Our son would fight the meal but would often come back and finish it. Then our second came along and she would barely eat enough to survive. I would try to hide foods in smoothies. She would rather go hungry than eat something she didn’t want to try or like. This forced me to think outside the box. Power struggles with food were not something I was NOT interested in entertaining. I did also admire her ability to eat half a cookie and be able to know that she was done. But I wasn’t interested in being a short-order cook. Our third was a blend of the two, some foods are hard NOs for her and it doesn’t matter how you dress them up or down she will NOT touch them. But she is adventurous in trying new things. This is a kid who will not eat a spaghetti or hamburger but will eat a can of smoked oysters and a bowl of olives.
So, what do you do? I did try making meals that I knew that they would eat. But the kitchen is where I love to play around and be creative. I started being uninspired and my husband and I were finding now we were eating foods that we didn’t love. We tried feeding the kids, then we’d eat. But that was not my jam; I like the family dinner and I didn't love making two meals every night. I also didn’t love that the kids then weren’t exposed to trying new things and I would find myself serving them things that were not only not nutritious but nutritionally depleting; which didn’t feel good.
I then started reading and looking for ideas of how to get the kids inspired about colourful nutritionally fulfilling foods. They started helping in the kitchen. I would get their input in meal planning. All were great baby steps. The game-changer for us was giving them guided control. We have always done a sort of family-style dinner. But I took it a step further and started offering deconstructed dishes that they could choose from. Things like noodles bowls, a salad bar, tacos, omelettes, sandwich platter and veggie and fruit trays.
These did come with guidance with language like “I’d like you to choose three scoops of veggies and one scoop of protein”. Bento boxes for school lunches are great, we talk about which compartment needs to be filled with fruit or vegetable, carbohydrate, protein and a treat.
This has been a game-changer for our little middle especially. She now knows the parameters and without much guidance is making her own choices. I don't find she’s digging her heels in and leaving meals hungry. She’s even tried a few new things. Many things are hard No’s and that’s ok. I have foods that I don’t like or choose not to eat.
The creation of a healthy relationship with food is VERY important to me. We have a lot of conversations about the roles that food has for our body. I think that the language that we use surrounding food feeds into that. There should be no shame surrounding food, it is a time to nourish and love our body. Food should be enjoyed and eaten without guilt or shame.
We try hard to not call foods good and bad. I have been trying to not use categories and labels. More saying this is a time for a vegetable or fruit, or could you please find something more colourful, or hey would you like a cookie! Labels like bad, not healthy and not good foods; create shame. This path can be dangerous not only with kids but for adults. Food is something that we need! It is something to celebrate and be mindful about. It is not meant to be used to relinquish emotion, not a place to exhibit control and shame.
We have this amazing opportunity to encourage healthy relationships and boundaries surrounding food with our kids. Teach them to nourish and love their bodies!
